Lead
by bekkett3021
Summary: They both lead that first night, in their own ways...


Chapter One

**DISCLAIMER: CHARACTERS "JOKER" AND "HARLEY QUINN/ HARLEEN QUINZEL" ARE PROPERTY OF DC COMICS. I DID NOT CREATE THEM.**

i took your hand in mine, and to my suprise, you let me have it. i pulled you down, down, down through those stairways and corridors, running fast and hard, and you stayed behind me. never saying a word. just following. deeper and deeper into the darkness of the asylum, underneath the filth of both the building and its captives. underneath everything. below it all.

you let me lead you.

you dove into the backseat of my car, panting, i could hear you breathe. you watched me as i fiddled clumsily with my keys. my hands were shaking with... what, i dont know. fear, excitement, anticipation, arousal... i'm not so sure. and when i dropped them, i heard the moan of annoyance, and you took them from me.

those alarms, deafening in the parking garage, gave us only a little light, but you knew anyway. i could see the silver glimmer in your painted eyes, watching me, watching the door. i remember those eyes. like a predator, hunting some stupid, senseless meal. those eyes that once repulsed me, drove me away. but those eyes now... i would close mine and see them. watching. watching me from behind my own eyes. knowing... knowing everything. seeing me more than i saw myself. seeing into me, uncovering things that even i never knew. seeking out weak points, torturing me with some sort of sickening tease... something wicked that only you could do.

you said one word. one word out of three that night. and when i opened my mouth to speak, my strength that was left in me couldn't form the words to respond. my weakness, born from your fury, taking over.

"move".

i obeyed, as i should have. and you drove us free. out of the cement and iron confines of what kept us away. what kept us apart. what left me so alone. it wasnt long until they were after us, sirens and horns and lights... a relentless cavalcade of them. you, laughing and screaming like a banshee, laughing at them. and when the gunfire started, i kept my moral shame, my last grip with humanity, and ducked for cover. but you welcomed it. you laughed even harder at my screams, head thrown back, pointing and laughing like a child. you put the top down to my convertible, dangerous, but you didnt care. and you wouldnt, would you? and you drove us away, hard and fast , losing them somewhere in the depths of gotham. the push of wind on our faces, i looked and you and watched you close your eyes, breathing it in. i watched you bathe in that blue moonlight, letting it consume you, swallow you whole. i watched as the deep-etched lines in your face softened, as you let that wind kiss your face, watched as you let your rage and your malcontent go. that anger and contempt, brushed away by the hand of nature.

and for the first time that night, i wasnt afraid. my fear, a dull pain in my stomach, had subsided.

i saw you. i watched you fall into yourself. that part that no one knew. that no one sees. not even yourself. a place that you had scared yourself away from. that man on the inside, the one that hides. the one that i...

but then, like you heard my thoughts, came back. he came back, that other man i knew. the man i had come to know. the mask on the outside, the shell. the masquerade that an entire city hated. but i... i knew. i understood, i felt what he felt. only i knew that torture and that torment. i felt you inside of me, inside of my head. and you knew me. you knew who i was. and you saved me.

and we drove. for miles and miles. for hours, it seemed, hidden by shadows and the clever clever midnight. even the stars muted their light, all for us. just for us. to let us go, let us live, let us be free.

then you came to a stop. you pulled over, on that seaside cliff. i could see the lights of the city behind us, so dim and so far away from us. like another world, seperated by walls and armor, but so free for the taking. i looked to my right and saw that black sea below us. how the tide churned it to white, to grey, to silver, and back again. its deep, hollow bellows shook deep inside my chest, that taste of salt on my lips and tongue, raining down softly on my skin.

you rose quietly from the driver's seat, your shadow covered my face, enveloped me in a single moment.

and then you turned, and began to walk away. your head down, your hair blowing back in the wind. i felt something in me give way, fall from me. suddenly i felt so alone. i got up from my passenger seat, got out of the car. the tears were already falling from my eyes, forming tiny rivers on my face. burning lines of melancholy into my skin. that scorching lump in my throat had already begun to choke... i couldnt breathe. but somehow i manage to move. to start following you. this wasnt over. i could feel in. i felt it in every particle of my being. the tips of my fingers, the back of my neck.

you heard me behind you, because then you stopped. and before i could think of the words to say, you pulled me into you. i felt myself even weaker than before, if there was such a thing. time stopped, i couldnt hear or see anything. my world went black. i melted into you, and you felt it. my head swimming, feeling afloat in that sea below us, save for that feel of your arms around me, pulling me closer and closer. i remember the sickly-sweet smell of you... that plastic aura of that face you wore, the smell of smoke and fire on your clothes, the heady smell of your skin... all meshed into one single entity. something i can never forget. something that will always bring me back to you. something that i can still smell today.

and then you spoke again. the other two words from that night, our night... your face so close to mine, i stared blindly at your lips, looked up into your eyes. they once held that silver glimmer, but now where whole. black. endless.

"thanks, darlin".

and you put your lips to mine. my knees failed to carry me, but you were up to the challenge. you picked me up and held me as i died beneath you, as my world ended. the feel of you on me... bringing something inside of me to light. i felt a part of me light on fire, go up in flames... something deep down began to give way... the ragged, cracked skin of your lips... how those sweet seconds swam by so slow, like time itself refused to pass. i remember the taste of you... again, how that discontent faded away into something else... something purer. something neither one of us had felt or dreamed before. the way you so gently parted my lips with yours... they way your mouth moved... how i followed you.

i let you lead me.

and when you pulled away, you left a piece of yourself with me. my heart, full to bursting, beating hard and fast inside my chest, calling for you with every spasmotic movement. and i stood there, watching you walk away again, watching you leave me.

and, by some strange force, i found my strength again. underneath all of that rubble within me, i found it. under everything that you had so wonderfully destroyed, i held it in my hands. and i spoke to you.

"wait."

and you stopped walking. my breath, still ragged and hot, pouring out of me like a faucet, now began to cloud in that cold sea air. i waited, on pins and needles, for some kind of word. some kind of clearance that you heard me.

and i saw, in the clever clever moonlight.

you turned your head, and waited for me.


End file.
